“That day, for no particular reason, I decided to go for a little run. So, I ran to the end of the road, and when I got there, I thought maybe I’d run to the end of town. And when I got there, I thought maybe I’d just run across Greenbow County. And I figured since I run this far, maybe I’d just run across the great state of Alabama. And that’s what I did. I ran clear across Alabama. For no particular reason, I just kept on going. I ran clear to the ocean. And when I got there, I figured since I’d gone this far, I might as well turn around, just keep on going. When I got to another ocean, I figured since I’ve gone this far, I might as well just turn back, keep right on going. When I got tired, I slept. When I got hungry, I ate. When I had to go, you know, I went. My mama always said you got to put the past behind you before you can move on. And I think that’s what my running was all about. I had run for three years, two months, 14 days, and 16 hours.”
Forest Gump
Have you ever felt like Forest? I have. There’s something cathartic about running. I’ve been doing a little lately. I’m not an athlete…not at all, but I do like to exercise, and sometimes I like to run. Because I do have a chronic endocrine condition my body tends to go to pot if I don’t do some type of exercise. I have gone through a period of not caring about my body for about six months. I have not gained weight, but something strange happened. I got larger, and I noticed these “hangs” of fat developing where there was previously no fat. I’m overweight simply because I like to eat and because I do have a documented endocrine problem called polycystic ovarian syndrome. Now, I could use my endocrine problem as an excuse to let myself go, and sometimes I have. The weight I carry now is a testament to that. However, in the last few years I’ve learned how to maintain my weight and even lose a few pounds, so why did I get bigger?
It’s simple body physics. Muscle weighs more than fat. So, when my muscle fitness declined I lost weight. Fat took over and muscle atrophy caused my body to loosen up…thus my clothes started fitting less well. It’s amazing that I did not gain weight. Oh, I walked some, because my body begins to hurt after a few days of no exercise. I’m also restless by nature. I’ll be riding in the car wishing I could just get out and walk or jog. On our recent vacation when we’d stop at a rest stop I’d do my business and then walk very briskly around the rest stop until everybody was ready to go again. My husband thinks I’m crazy…and truth be known there’s probably a good bit of truth to his assumptions.
However, I haven’t doing enough exercise to remain fit. I got discouraged when workouts did not lead to weight loss. I sort of developed this “whatever” attitude towards fitness and nutrition and “whatever” is exactly what I got.
I’ll be blatantly honest here and tell you that I deal with a mild underlying depression, and the Winter months are the worst time for me. Losing my grandmother in November and then caring for my sick cat, Samantha, most of the Winter culminating with her passing in February didn’t help things either. So, it was a particularly bad Winter for me, and caring for my body became the last thing I cared about. Unfortunately, I didn’t make the connection between no exercise and my dour mental well-being until Spring rolled around. I started exercising more vigorously by walking and jogging in intervals, and my mental and physical wellbeing rebounded dramatically in a very short time. So much so that when I was sick a couple of weeks ago I could literally feel myself slipping back into depression and my body going soft. I was not myself until I could get back into my exercise routine.
Forest is right about running….or jogging in my case…sometimes you’ve got to put your past behind you, and in this case actually running from one’s problems, disappointments, and griefs is actually therapeutic. Again, I’m not this sold out all-I-can-think-about-is-running type of person, but I get where Forest is coming from. Sometimes you can’t do anything about your problems but give them over to God and do something that makes you feel good and get your mind off them. Sometimes it’s something as simple and repetitive as running. I have run enough to experience a “runner’s high”. It can’t be explained adequately with words, but once you’ve experienced it you want to experience it again. I also like the feeling of getting up in the morning, putting on my pants and they feel good…not pinchy in all the wrong places. My muscles feel tight and lean, and I have an energy that just can’t be gained by sleep alone.
I have learned not to focus the attention of my exercise on losing weight. I’ve come to the point that I realize that I’m never going to be a lightweight again. My health and metabolism will just not afford that. My focus is on fitness…mental and physical. I’ve got a long way to go, but instead of beating myself up for what I can’t do I’m going to do what I can do.
So…I RAN!
